Dealing with a parent’s refusal to attend adult day care can be stressful and overwhelming. You may find yourself feeling frustrated or angry with your parent and disappointed in the situation. This article provides strategies and tips to help you understand the reasons behind their resistance, encourage participation, and decrease their resistance to attending.
Understanding their hesitation about adult day care
Parents often have genuine concerns, fears, and even misconceptions about adult day care. They might fear losing independence, feel unsure about a new environment, or misunderstand what the program involves.
To start a conversation that acknowledges their concerns, consider these approaches:
- Listen actively: “I get that you have some concerns. Can you share what you’re worried about?”
- Acknowledge their feelings: “Let’s talk about what you’re worried about. I want to make sure we’re on the same page and figure out something that feels right for you.”
- Express empathy: “I know this is a big change that might seem strange or even scary. Can we chat about what’s on your mind?”
- Offer reassurance: “We can take things at your pace. I want to make sure you feel comfortable and have fun.”
Encouraging participation
Gently introducing the idea of adult day care and being supportive can ease your parent into the idea. By using a compassionate approach to encouraging their participation, you can help reduce their resistance.
Propose a no-commitment trial period
Suggest a trial period of a week to a month so that your parent has the time and opportunity to meet other attendees, experience a variety of activities, and adjust to going. They can experience the program without feeling pressured or locked into a commitment and may learn they enjoy it.
Offer to accompany them
Offering to go with your parent for the first visit can alleviate anxiety and help your parent feel more comfortable in a new environment. Your support can provide comfort and reassurance. Before suggesting this idea, ask the adult day care provider if it’s allowed.
Highlight the benefits for you
Framing their attendance as something that also benefits you may help. Let them know that while they are at adult day care, you have time to recharge, take care of other responsibilities, or simply not worry about their well-being while you are at work. When they understand that their involvement also positively impacts your well-being, they may become more open to considering this option.
Use an alternate name for the program
The term “adult day care” can sometimes carry negative connotations, sounding childish or like a babysitter is needed. By using alternative names, you can create a more dignified perception of the program, which may encourage your parent to feel more accepting of attending.
Some alternatives include:
- Club.
- Program.
- Senior center.
- The center.
- Activity center.
- Senior group.
Make sure that your loved one is aware that you want to use this strategy. It isn’t about tricking your loved one; it’s about working together to reframe the concept of adult day care so you and your loved one can look at it as a positive experience for everyone.
Practical actions for lowering resistance to adult day care
With intentional actions, you can help your parent feel more at ease and receptive to the idea of adult day care. These actions not only decrease their fears and apprehensions but also foster a sense of belonging within the program, making the transition smoother and more inviting.
Introduce the idea gradually
Introducing the concept of adult day care gradually can build your parent’s acceptance of the idea. Casually including the idea in conversations, acknowledging people they know who attend, and engaging in low-pressure activities they may do in adult day care can help ease them into the idea.
Involve them in the decision-making process
Including your parent in researching and choosing a facility can help them to feel more in control of the decision to attend. Visiting different centers together can help find a place that feels like a good fit.
Keep attendance consistent
Attending consistently and frequently will make your parent’s adjustment easier. Consistency provides a sense of structure and predictability, which can enhance their comfort and familiarity with attending.
Consider these scheduling options:
- Attend at least three days per week.
- Avoid leaving long gaps between visits.
- Short days are better than not attending at all.
Encouraging adult day care: What to keep in mind
Navigating the journey to adult day care with your parents involves learning to understand their resistance, being patient in working through the resistance, and implementing key steps to increase their acceptance of attending.
Remember, the goal isn’t to get an immediate “yes” but to reduce resistance and keep the door open for future possibilities. By respecting your parent’s autonomy while gently encouraging them to consider the benefits of adult day care, everyone can experience the advantages.
