If you’re feeling pulled between the demands of your children’s needs and the caregiving needs of your parents, then you’re a member of the Sandwich Generation. The Sandwich Generation refers to individuals who simultaneously care for their children and help their elderly parents, presenting many challenges with managing these competing needs and roles. Summertime is particularly challenging for those balancing these dual roles. This article offers practical strategies to help you manage these responsibilities and enjoy a rewarding summer.
What is the Sandwich Generation?
The Sandwich Generation is a group of adults who are caring for dependent children and aging parents simultaneously. Essentially, you are the “filling” in a sandwich, with your children and parents as the “bread.” You’re tasked with managing the responsibilities that come with both pieces of bread, and this dual responsibility can feel overwhelming.
You constantly face the challenge of coordinating competing schedules, managing resources, and maintaining your own well-being. From school pick-ups to doctor appointments (for both your kids and your parents), your calendar is packed. You have little time for yourself. It’s crucial to find ways to meet these demands without burning out, ensuring you can continue to support both generations effectively.
For the Sandwich Generation, summer can be particularly challenging. With children out of school, you may find yourself spending more time managing parenting responsibilities while your elderly parents continue to require help and ongoing care. This section will guide you through effective strategies to help you move through the summer months, balancing the needs of both your children and your elderly parents.
Tips for managing multiple calendars
One of the most challenging aspects of your role is managing the overlapping schedules of your children, yourself, and your aging parents. You might feel like you’re being pulled in too many different directions with additional parenting responsibilities that present during the summer. With a bit of organization and the right tools, you can create a schedule that works for everyone.
Make a list of everything you need to coordinate
Begin by listing all summer activities, commitments, and appointments. Include tasks and commitments, such as your children’s summer camps and classes and your parents’ medical appointments. Don’t forget about your own appointments. Be sure to include any of the following that apply to your situation:
- Summer camp schedules.
- Summer activities and classes.
- Vacations and days off.
- Doctor appointments (for you, your child, and your parent).
- Birthdays or other special events.
- Upkeep for your home and your parents’ home, if they live at home but not with you (yard work, grocery shopping, etc.).
Don’t forget to consider things you don’t usually add to the calendar but want to make time for, such as:
- One-on-one time with your child.
- Quality time with your parent (outside of caregiving duties).
- Planned dates with your partner.
- Alone time.
- Spending time with friends.
Calendar options
Choose the type of calendar that best suits your family’s needs and that you are most likely to use:
- A paper planner can provide a sense of familiarity and comfort for those who enjoy the traditional feel of pen and paper.
- A digital calendar offers you easy access to your schedule and can sync across your devices. You can choose to create a family digital calendar so that everyone can see the schedule on their devices and update it as needed.
- A paper wall calendar or a wipe-off calendar on the fridge can provide one space where everyone can see and update schedules at a glance.
Streamline the schedule
As you look at your schedule, you may feel overwhelmed and wonder how you can manage everything. Streamlining your schedule will increase your confidence in your ability to meet your children’s summertime needs and your parents’ caregiving duties. Focus on what truly matters to your family and what will enrich your summer experience, reducing potential stress from overscheduling.
One technique to classify the activities on your calendar is to place them into four categories:
- Nonnegotiable: What are the items that you must address (such as meals for your kids or communication with your parents)?
- Automate: Consider which tasks you can automate, such as paying bills.
- Delegate: What tasks can you assign to someone else, such as a paid caregiver, a babysitter, or another family member?
- Eliminate or reduce: Are there any nonessential activities on your calendar that you can eliminate or spend less time on?
By prioritizing calendar items and utilizing the right planning tools, you can create an enjoyable summer for everyone.
Collaborative summer strategies: Make it a team effort
As a member of the Sandwich Generation, you may feel like you’re alone trying to get through this summer, but it doesn’t have to be that way. By collaborating with your family and embracing a team approach, you can create a smooth and enjoyable summer for everyone involved. Together, you can tackle challenges, share responsibilities, and create lasting memories.
Partner power
If you have a partner, teaming up with them will help you move through the summer schedule with more confidence and ease. Effective communication with your partner will ensure that you are on the same page and prepared to tackle daily challenges together.
Establish a daily routine to discuss plans, task distribution, and appointments. Whether it’s a quick morning chat over coffee or a nightly discussion before bed, these moments will not only strengthen your relationship but also help you feel stronger and better equipped to tackle the summer schedule as a team.
Child involvement
Involving your children in the summer planning process can empower them and help them grow. By including them, you also teach lessons in accountability, responsibility, and teamwork. While in the beginning it may seem that it will take more work on your part to teach them how to complete a task, once they master it, you will have one fewer task to complete. Here are some ideas:
- Ask for their input on planning the schedule.
- Let them choose tasks they enjoy.
- Assign age-appropriate tasks and chores for them to complete.
- Make it fun with a chart, a tracking system, and a reward system.
Involving your children not only lightens your load but also teaches them valuable life skills, which fosters their growth and independence.
Parental engagement
Engaging your parents in the summer schedule will create opportunities for valuable contributions and strengthen the family bonds. Their support can also help decrease the pressure you feel when navigating the summer schedule. Some ideas include:
- Asking for their input on how they can help in the summer.
- Identifying activities they can manage and encouraging their participation. For example, they may be able to watch your children for short periods while you handle other responsibilities.
- Evaluating tasks you’re handling for them that they might manage independently.
Their involvement will help you manage the summer schedule and enhance their sense of purpose and inclusion.
Getting extra help for your elderly parents
Summer might be the ideal time to introduce extra help into your elderly parents’ routine. By exploring additional support options this summer, you can take those initial steps to create a balanced schedule for everyone involved.
Help from family or friends
Asking another person, such as a friend, a sibling, or a neighbor, to step in and help your elderly parents over the summer can free up time for you to tend to other responsibilities or simply take a break. Whether they can help out on a regular basis or here and there as needed, they can be a valuable resource for managing a busy summer schedule.
Home care options
Consider hiring home care services for the summer. In-home care providers can ensure your parents receive the personalized attention and care they need. If your parents have resisted in-home care in the past, they may be more open to the idea when knowing it’s a temporary arrangement for the summer.
Discuss with them the benefits of enlisting home care over the summer without the long-term commitment. With professional caregivers attending to your parents’ needs, you can have more time to focus on your children’s summer activities and needs as well as your own.
Senior socialization and activities
Encouraging your parents to participate in senior activities can greatly enhance their social well-being and alleviate some of the caregiving pressures on your summer schedule. Your parents can engage in meaningful activities and receive the support they need.
- Senior centers and community centers: These centers often provide a range of activities designed to keep seniors active and engaged. By attending these activities over the summer, your parents can enjoy enriching activities while you enjoy activities with your kids.
- Adult day care: Adult day care centers offer a safe and supportive environment where seniors with higher caregiving needs can participate in structured activities and receive supportive care during the day. These centers provide you with a break in knowing that your parents’ caregiving and social needs are being met.
- Other socialization options: Your parent may enjoy exploring clubs, hobby groups, or local events that cater to seniors. These options support their social needs and allow you to focus more on your own family responsibilities.
For the Sandwich Generation, balancing summer demands on your schedule requires thoughtful planning and teamwork. By managing your calendar, involving family in a team effort, and seeking extra help through home care and senior activities, you can navigate the season with confidence and ease while caring for your kids and helping your elderly parents.
